Surviving infidelity

How to Argue
 
Most couples are exceedingly poor at resolving conflicts. Today, I give you a number of techniques designed to teach you healthier conflict resolution. Today, I'll just outline the most basic ground-rules for arguments. Discuss these with your spouse and agree on them together.
1. Abuse and physical violence will not be tolerated. If things get too hot, take a break or take a walk.

2. Avoid assigning blame. Instead, talk about how your partner's actions made you feel.

3. Be honest. Don't argue about one thing if something else is bothering you.

4. Don't take things personally. When someone is upset, they can say or do things that make it worse.

5. Focus on resolving the issue--not winning the argument. Think negotiation, not competition.

6. If your spouse hasn't understood your motives or misunderstood what you said, don't get angry. Explain yourself.

7. No bringing up hurtful events from the past. Stay in the present.

8. No going to sleep on an argument.

9. No name-calling.

10. Once an argument is resolved, forgive and forget.

The Silent Poison: Resentment

When hurt piles upon hurt, it is easy to feel as you and your spouse are in a competition where the more you can hurt the other person, the more points you get. This is a dangerous and deadly way to think of conflicts.
As your marriage continues to crumble, you'll begin to feel more comfortable thinking about your spouse in terms of resentment, blame, and disappointment rather than in terms of love, forgiveness, and teamwork.
Every negative feeling that you have about your spouse builds and builds, even if you don't act out on those feelings. Unless you do something about those negative feelings, you will find yourself becoming more and more resentful of your spouse and his or her ability to make your life unpleasant.
There are several things you can do. I suggest consciously counteracting every negative feeling with positive acts of love, affection, and respect. You should also learn how to talk to your partner about your feelings in a neutral, non-accusatory, calm way. This is extraordinarily difficult and will take a long time to master.
Negative feelings expressed in anger or as a knee-jerk reaction grow and become worse. If you can learn to express your negative feelings neutrally with the express purpose of finding some way to resolve them, you may find that they dissipate with the mere act of sharing them.

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How To Survive An Affair

 How To Survive an Affair

Hello, this Eric from Marriage Sherpa and I want to help enhance your healing by answering a few important questions about Dr. Gunzburg's program How to survive an Affair .

If you are considering using this program, you probably have these questions I'm about to address. Please take 3 minutes to read through each one as I provide an answer to your most important questions that will help your healing process.

1. What will I get when I order How to Survive an Affair?

We ship the program plus the workbook in the mail and you should receive it within 5-7 business days if you live in the U.S. Average shipping time outside of the U.S. is 10 days.

In addition to shipping it directly to you, we also give you immediate access to our membership site so you can download the material and begin reading section one today.

The main program takes you through the three critical phases of the healing process, and the companion workbook allows you to track your progress and personalize the process to your particular situation by taking advantage of a range of healing-focused exercises.

They work if you implement them. In addition to the main program and companion healing guide, you'll receive Dr. Gunzburg's two bonus programs, What to Do If  You've Been Cheated On and How to Save Your Relationship if You've Cheated.

These two emergency reports should be the starting point for both the injured spouse and the spouse who committed the affair.

2. How effective is the program?

How to Survive an Affair is the number one selling program online. We've sold over 20,000 copies since 2004 and have close to 1,000 testimonials from real couples who've used the program to save their marriage.

This program isn't light material. Dr. Gunzburg's program is serious medicine that goes right to the heart of healing a relationship after an affair. There is a very specific protocol for solving the emotional challenges, communicating with each other, resolving the relationship problems and setting the stage for honesty and forgiveness.

Every section of the program was carefully designed after 35 years of counseling couples, and the program was built from the principles of cognitive behavioral psychology.

It's designed to be followed as a system. That means, you'll start with section one and progress at your own pace. Each section is designed to help you graduate to the next level and the companion healing guide will help you track your healing and personalize the process to your circumstances.

3. What types of problems is How to Survive an Affair designed to solve?

While most books on infidelity identify the problems the affair creates, Dr. Gunzburg's program is designed to be your self-help guide to personalize the healing process and solve your problems. In addition, Dr. Gunzburg's program is structured for the injured spouse and the cheating spouse: It speaks to both and provides step-by-step instructions.

There are three specific phases to healing. The first helps you, the injured spouse, heal first. That is the most critical initial step. The second phase shows both spouses how to begin working through the tough issues and the third phase is all about rebuilding a new relationship.

It's a dynamic program that can be followed at your own pace. For every major problem, there is a solution, exercise or a realistic objective that you can apply either to yourself, with your partner or directly towards improving your relationship.

The program was designed to produce results if you follow the steps. Here are the objectives of each phase:

Phase I: Individual Healing - Understanding Personal Feelings and Sorting through Emotions

• Get in touch with your pain.
• Process your painful emotions.
• Clear your mind and own your thoughts.
• Overcome obsessive images about the affair.
• Rebuild your self-confidence, self-trust and self-respect.
• Healing program for the cheating spouse.
• End the affair.
• Become transparent and rebuild honesty.
• Ask for forgiveness.
• Create a heartfelt apology.

Phase II: Healing As a Couple - Working Together to Identify and Resolve Key Issues

• Analyze the 10 critical dimensions of your relationship.
• Coming into agreement over the relationship.
• Healthy communication.
• Meeting each other's needs.
• Building six pillars of stability.

Phase III: Negotiating a Renewed Relationship - Understanding How to Rebuild and Sustain a New Trust-filled Partnership

• Accepting the past and move on to a brighter future.
• Have fun again.
• Restore the intimacy.
• Write your personal marriage contract.
• Affair-proof your marriage for life.

4. Is the program just for the injured spouse or the spouse who committed the affair?

What's unique is that the program speaks to both individually. Dr. Gunzburg provides a very clear protocol for ending the affair. If that hasn't happened, the first step for the cheating spouse will be to read section three and end all ties with the paramour.

A very critical component to the healing process is understanding the pain the cheating spouse has caused their partner. In most cases, it is very difficult for someone to communicate this in an effective way.

We've seen many relationships see very dramatic improvements simply when the cheating spouse reads section 1 and 2. Dr. Gunzburg paints a very realistic picture of what an injured spouse is going through.

After they are exposed to the reality of the pain they caused, this opens a huge opportunity to heal the relationship and set the stage for rebuilding.

5. Money is tight, is there a payment plan?

How to survive an Affair is a comprehensive program and workbook that is shipped directly to your door. In addition, you can access our membership site and download extra copies of the workbook.

You can choose to use our single-pay option, or you can make 4 easy monthly payments.

Another critical point to consider is our satisfaction policy. We offer a 90-day review period. That means we want you to use the program.

If you don't see dramatic results in just 90 days, you can send it back and we will issue a refund to your credit card.

We are committed to helping you find the love again.

Please use this link to read more about the programme. If you are ready to order, simply scroll to the bottom of the page and click either of the two ordering options.

Wishing you hope and healing for your marriage,

Eric...

Are You On The Edge Of Divorce?

Hello, this is Eric.

I just finished a most compelling read: a book that explains why women often fail at their attempts to bring their husband home. Mostly, it's because these women are thinking like a woman, using techniques that work... on women. This is why their man doesn't respond and keeps on going.
Bob Grant, a Licensed Professional Counselor, Therapist and Relationship Coach is giving up the secrets he has used in over 18 years of work with hundreds of women. Many of these women were separated from their spouse - and had tried and failed to get their husband to come home.
I'll explain why in just a moment.
At any given time, a large section of the population is in a state of marriage crisis, whether separated, divorced - or on the verge of both.
This may be you. And you may be desperate for answers, but you're getting some very bad advice from those places where most women seek such counsel:

• Magazines
• Female friends/relatives
• Fly-by-night "relationship" coaches

Unfortunately, many women are told to resort to the same old tired tricks that - if they work at all - only work for the short term.
Bob Grant reveals why this doesn't work: it's because you're trying to get a man back, not another woman, and the strategies that work on women simply fall on deaf ears when applied to a man.

To Get a Man Back, You Need a Strategy that Works On Men

Let me tell you, Bob Grant didn't earn the name "The Relationship Doctor" by spinning yarns about what to do. He has been down there in the trenches with his clients, helping them to implement his strategies that work - for the long-term.
Because bringing him home for just a few months isn't what you want. You want him back permanently, your bond to deepen and your relationship to reach its full potential.
Bob can't be everywhere at once counselling everyone: remember, there are a lot of couples in crisis at any given moment. What he has done is create a program that helps women understand how a man thinks so she can implement the techniques that will bring him back permanently.

==>click here to learn more<==

• The #1 mistake women make in trying to get their man back.
• Why he lost interest in you - and how to stop it from happening again.
• How you're sabotaging your chance of reconciliation.
• The reason why your strategy only works on women - not on a man.
• How guessing what went wrong is a waste of time.

In thinking like a woman, you could be further driving away your man. But don't despair. You could learn:

• 9 powerful words to say to make him realize he can't be without you.
• How to initiate contact without seeming desperate.
• Why a man's imagination holds the key to his heart.
• The top 3 reasons a man wants to end a relationship - and avoid them.

And that's just a small sample of the insights and practical strategies that are crammed in Bob's book,
How to Get Your Man Back and Keep Him Devoted To You For Good 
I want you to hear Bob's audio recording and also read his article. It's knowledge you need today if you want to bring him home for good.
Bob explains why he wrote his book JUST for women, and why it is for any woman who has struggled with the problem of rekindling a broken relationship.
==> Take Action Today <==

Wishing you hope and healing for your marriage, 

 Eric

(Will it Survive or Crumble?)

What You Do RIGHT NOW Decides the Fate of Your Relationship
(Will it Survive or Crumble?)

Right now, you are facing one of the most painful and most critical crossroads of your life and you need to be very careful what you do and say. Everything that happens today will affect your marriage, your children’s emotional stability, your emotional integrity… even your finances.
Surviving the affair requires that you follow the right steps in the RIGHT ORDER. And the longer you wait, the harder it can be to bring your spouse home and repair the trust that has been broken.
Inside our FREE report you’ll discover the 3 things that need to be done to help both the injured and cheater…

1. Emotionally heal themselves individually
2. Come back together as a couple
3. Make their marriage better than ever

Every detail of the report outlines specific challenges you will face that threaten your marriage because of the affair and the 21-action steps you must follow to protect your marriage and begin the healing.
It doesn’t matter if you are male or female, the injured party or the one who committed the affair, this FREE report outlines what MUST happen if you want to survive the affair.

Here’s the First of THREE Things You Should Do to Save Your
Relationship After It’s Been Shattered by an Affair

The very first thing you need to do RIGHT NOW is also the one thing that most couples miss… saving your marriage and stopping a divorce cannot happen until you heal YOUR emotions.
Yes, if you are the one who has been cheated on, you may be emotionally pointing fingers at your spouse for the devastation you’ve experienced, but what’s most important is to look inward first.
You see, finding your own personal peace, feeling normal again and thinking clearly will allow you to make the right decisions and prevent you from doing or saying something that may end up destroying your marriage for good.
Whether male or female, as the injured spouse from an affair, you are being bombarded with emotions that are eating away at your self‐respect, self‐confidence and self‐trust and you must take back control if you want to save your marriage.
This free report will tell you exactly how to do that as well as the remaining two critical steps that will help you:

• Bring stability and peace by creating 100% transparency…
• Achieve true forgiveness…
• Fall in love again…
• End the paranoia by coming clean and getting all the details…
• Know that the affair will NEVER happen again…

Haunting Images, Paranoid Feelings and Depression
Will Not Leave You Alone and Only Get Worse Unless…

That is why the first thing you need help with is overcoming your emotions so you can feel normal again.
Inside this FREE report the first thing you will do is:

• Confront 8 emotions sabotaging your confidence so you can feel normal again…
• Protect your life, job and family by understanding 6 healthy-steps to processing emotions without falling apart…
• Take control of irrational thoughts and become strong again…
• Stop the paranoia by learning the steps to erasing the haunting images…
• Get your spouse to understand your pain (this step alone is most powerful technique for bringing a wayward spouse back home)…

Take Advantage of Our FREE REPORT Right Now and
Discover How to Rebuild Your Self‐Confidence and Self‐
Respect so You Can Save Your Marriage or Relationship
BEFORE It’s Too Late ===>Click Here<===